Heidi the Hero
I fu&%ing love my mom. That's the only way to put it. Please excuse the language! I don't know what I would have done without her. She has been one of the most supportive people I've had throughout my entire life, and I am lucky to have her. SO lucky. If it wasn't for her, I don't know where I would be right now. Actually, I would still be in prison, but I would have no idea where I was going if it wasn't for her unconditional support. I want her to read this every day and so she knows how much she is appreciated and loved.
My mom raised us three girls at home. She gave up having a corporate career and instead took the "home office" path as a stay at home mom. I was born the middle child (insert middle child syndrome comment here), and so trying to keep the three of us happy and healthy while making sure we didn't destroy the house was no easy task. Truthfully, I think we caused more damage to the house as we got older, because we always had parties (some without permission) and well, it's safe to say it has taken more than a slight beating. But no matter what hell we put her though, we were always welcomed with open arms.
When we were kids, she always kept us busy, and didn't allow us much time to watch the TV. I spent a lot of my time at the library anyways. We always had healthy lunches, and we didn't understand why no one would trade snacks with us. We often went for family hikes (they were called, Mandatory Family Outings, or "MFO"), and even though we kicked and whined when we were younger, it made us always appreciate the outdoors and the importance of exercise. Well for me at least! I definitely have my mom's energy, and hopefully I will grow to show as much kindness and radiance that she has throughout the years.
When I got arrested, I could see my parents standing horrified in the courtroom. I was standing next to some still drunk street person, who initially they thought was my co-accused! Oh hell no! At least my co-accused knew how to shave. Other than that he's not that much better actually. They bailed me out without question. It was like they didn't even have to think twice. After being in prison for 10 months, I really saw how fortunate I was.
My bail conditions mandated that I had to be on house arrest. I had to move back home to live with my mom, which pissed me off because I just didn't understand. I was 27 years old for Christ's sake. Nothing seemed fair. I wasn't a bad person, but I felt like I was being treated like a murderer. The first few months were stressful on everyone. We all thought we were being watched around the clock, but we didn't know by who. It made everyone incredibly uneasy, emotionally concussed I would say. I had to have notes written for everywhere I went, which I also thought was stupid. Was I 5? The federal government thought so. I was in denial of everything, and I had a lot of anger towards my co-accused and the legal system for being what I felt at the time to be so ridiculous. I stressed my poor mom out a lot during those times, because I wasn't willing to accept what had happened. She never quit on me though. I finally reached my sentencing hearing, after 2.5 YEARS living on bail. I had one slip up (my mom bailed me out then too) and got caught for being out without a "permission slip" so I was much more careful after that. I didn't want to go back to jail before I absolutely had to, the provincial jails were repugnant! I stuck out like a sore thumb, and it was not the place for me.
Once I got to federal prison, my mom made sure she answered the phone... EVERY. SINGLE .TIME. She would be skiing in Montreal and be at the top of the mountain and still pick up when she saw it was me. She navigated herself through my disorganized room to pack me my clothes and get the boxes shipped off before the deadline (we were allowed to wear some of our own clothes). She also spent countless hours figuring out all loose ends that had to be tied up about my business. I gave her number to a couple of my friends before I left, so she also played the role of secretary. I have a lot of friends, and I know they all were curious as to how I was doing, so I'm sure she felt slightly swamped! Thanks mom!
At the beginning of the second chapter of my sentence, where I am on day parole, my mom remains my rock. She stands firm in her support, and wants to see me succeed. She has shown her endless support in so many ways. I know that our bond is unbreakable, and we will have an even stronger union when this is all over. Throughout my 20's, I never saw myself having kids, but seeing how wonderful and beautiful a mother-daughter relationship can be, I definitely want one of my own. The good times definitely outweigh the bad. They make everything worthwhile. Love you always mama bear.